3 Years and still grieving

Knowing I haven't been blogging for almost the entire year of 2015, Let this blog be the first then of 2016. 3 years after her passing, 3 year since we first met, although it was a brief experience, nevertheless, it was a special one.

Right now, the only thing on my mind, is there are 2 types of people.
One who can forget about past bad experiences and move on, and another which waddles around in their own lonely worlds, trying to forget, but always falling in this deep chasm of sorrow and what it seems a long and sad life. Currently, I feel im the latter. Can hardly focus at work without even remembering her every time I see a couple that seems very mutual, sweet yet still friends. Which quite frankly, it's every damn time I come to work. I can't tell anyone, not prepared to. They'd tell me off im too young, I agree. I was, still am. In a way, it's kinda a predicament. Psychologically damaged.

Even if I trust my lovely ASM, I could never tell. It's not the way as it is. Better off grief on my own, there's no need to share any personal info in my life to her. Making things worse. Management team seemed obnoxious and less friendly towards their employees, and this new partner that joined in last October, though I find her as fitting as Ms. Felicia, she still, until today from November refuses to speak to me. This is just troubling me more so, apparently im only a tool for her, what to do, might as well make myself useful while im still in this shithole.

I need to go sleep now, if she was alive still today, i'd probably be the happiest man alive , the sudden loss of her unbearable. Today I mark it as my 3rd anniversary of our first date together back then. In honour of her, and her monumental love for classy and a lively experience no matter where she would be at, prepping a suit, and try to change my ways, hopefully I will succeed. The only time I see her is in my dreams, and gosh she's an angel. I miss her then, and I will always do. Requiescat in pace, te amor. That's alll for ir now. What a sad morning this is. Hmm.....